(I liked this photograph because the mother of the bride, after arranging the marriage, is arranging her daughter's hair. Also, don't let the glum looks on their faces inspire you to draw negative conclusions about arranged marriages: they had been sitting in front of blinding floodlights, doing photos, for hours at this point. And it was only 11 am.)In the part of India where I am, marriages are still arranged. I had the privilege to attend this wedding ceremony yesterday for these people....Priya and... Ramnad (?). They had never known each other before this day.
The idea behind arranged marriages, as far as I've gathered, is that families choose each other. The social safety net that protects and cares for the husband or the wife in the case of a marital problems is wide and strong.
Not strong like people in bad marriages get divorced and rely on their families to help them. Strong like, the families puts social pressure on the partner to shape up. No one gets divorced.
In conversations with people, I've been forced to consider this. The US divorce rate is over 50 percent. That makes us look bad. (C'mon team... :) And it makes our "love marriages" look bad.
But then, I'm not sure a high divorce rate is so bad. Maybe it just means a higher number of happy marriages and happily divorced people?
"But what does it do to the kids?"
I don't know.
Probably both systems (arranged marriages and love marriages) reinforce themselves - including their best and worst attributes - in the next generation.
Mostly, I just wanted to show you this photo.
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Seems like you have an amazing job Katie. I've enjoyed reading your blog! ^_^ Hope you are back stateside safely and soon! Have fun while you are out and about, globetrotter. =p
ReplyDeleteA colleague brought up some points with me about this post that ought to be included.
ReplyDelete1. Divorce does happen here. It's not common and it's a big deal and usually only after every possible social intervention has been tried, but it can still happen.
2. There are shades of gray between married and divorced. Sometimes, when marriages don't work out people here simply live apart and stay married. Or else bury themselves in their work. Just like in the US.
3. The divorce rates in the US are on the decline. Go team go!